January 30, 2016 By

It’s Friday! Time once again to countdown in the world of nerd with the Friday Five! This week, the top five worst people at comic cons!

Everyone loves going to a con! The days of flea market style shows with tables of old comics are (sadly) gone and now it’s a weekend full of fun, celebrities, artists, cosplay and people everywhere! If you are taking the time off of work and spending the increasingly large amounts of money to go to one of these shows, you definitely hope to not run into some of these peeps!

5) People in the way

Take a giant room filled with tables and nearly enough people to have the fire marshal shut it down and add in…a giant cosplay prop or a double wide stroller and it’s a recipe for annoying. Our number five people seem to either be clueless on how a con works or so filled with unwarranted self-importance they think everyone should move for them. As you are clobbered by their costumes wings or run over by their stroller, they will give you a dirty look as if you are the problem and not the 16 foot tall cardboard sword they brought with them. Special anger shout out to those people who stop cosplayers for photos IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE PEOPLE ARE WALKING IN, because that Instagram post is much more important than the 75 people being trampled behind you.

4) Completely unrelated to anything else at the con booth

Hey, I get it. Cons are big business and the most important thing is filling that space on the floor. But maybe, just maybe, you should reevaluate your prices if you can’t find anyone willing to be a vendor other than massage chairs. Nothing says I made a good decision to spend 50$ getting in the door today than seeing a bunch of booths filled with things completely unrelated to nerd culture at a nerd culture event. I guess it’s possible someone really wanted to get a tattoo at the show….

3) The guy with 6 longs boxes for one person to sign

There’s nothing better than getting to meet your favorite comic book creator at a show. You can show them your appreciation for their work, buy a print, or even get a few books signed. As a personal rule, I NEVER bring more than three comics per creator. 99.9% of them will sign books for free so why would you take advantage of that and bust out a long box worth of books? What kind of asshole does that? Our number 3 asshole does. While a line begins to build, they keep taking out stack after stack of books and usually the artist/writer are too polite to say no. If you ever wondered why some creators started charging to sign books then you can thank this peep. Who really needs an entire run of a title signed? Just pick out a favorite issue or cover and go from there. As a line builds it usually causes a traffic jam in the aisle which makes them a number 5 as well as causing other tables to be blocked from potential customers. Fuck this person.

2) The smelly person

Yes, there is a stereotype of nerds being fat, slovenly people who are smelly. Unfortunately, there are some of us who are smelly and quite gross. Now take said person and drop them into a room jam packed with people. Imagine having to stand in line behind said person. As their toxic stench fills your nostrils you have to decide if you value your ability to breath or the 150$ celebrity photo op you paid for. It seems like a pretty good rule of thumb to shower every morning if you are going to the con and also to wear some deodorant. If you are a sweatbeast, like me, maybe wear some shorts and a t shirt to keep col. Basically, be a normal person and be considerate of the other con goers, we don’t want to smell your swampass.

1) Creepy people touching and otherwise sexually harassing cosplayers and other people

And now we come to number one, the worst of the worst. Possibly because I’m not a total creepo, but I can’t conceptualize people who think it’s ok to take pictures of peoples butts without asking, or grabbing and touching them, or any of that stuff, but it happens. Thankfully a lot of cons are now cracking down on this, but it’s really weird and gross. Just because someone is wearing a costume doesn’t give you the right to touch them without permission. Hopefully as we move forward people will stop doing things like this and other con goers will help police it. So Wizard will gladly throw hands with anyone touching their friends, no doubt.

A good way to ensure no one wants to go to a con is to have strangers touching them or taking inappropriate pictures of them. When you look around one day and say “What happened to the cool people in costumes at shows?”, then maybe you should have thought before tweaking Aquamans nipples, champ.

And that will do it for this weeks Friday Five! Feedback is always welcome and appreciated in the comments below, through social media or email us:!

We will see you back here next week for another countdown in the word of nerd on The Friday Five!