Streaming Pick – Even Lambs Have Teeth

September 28, 2018 By

Your weekly streaming pick comes courtesy of Amazon Prime this week. 2015’s wish fulfillment-horror-slasher movie Even Lambs Have Teeth is a fun watch. That seems incredibly morbid to say when you consider the plot involved kidnapping, rape, and brutal murder. Read on for an explanation before calling the authorities to have me committed.

Sloane (Kristen Prout) and Katie (Tiera Skovbye) take on summer jobs at some hippy farm to save money for a trip to NYC. On their way to the farm the flirtatious girls catch the eyes of a couple handsome locals. Travis (Darren Mann) and Jed (Garrett Black) bring the girls to their own home, which they claim is on the way to the farm. Their mother brings the girls in and drugs them. The psychotic family uses the girls as sex slaves, selling them to corrupt locals and other freaks in turn.

As the girls are being held and abused Katie’s Detective uncle Jason is suspicious of their quick disappearance. He begins his own investigation. Without waiting to be saved (and unaware he’s even looking) Sloane and Katie load up at a hardware store and begin their brutal revenge.

Even Lambs Have Teeth is in the vein of something everyone who has ever watched a horror movie has thought of. Most of these types of movies end when either the protagonist escapes or the protagonist loses. Happy or sad, these are fairly formulaic. We all had the same thought of wanting brutal, Hammurabi style, revenge on the sickos in these movies doesn’t fully come to pass often enough.

Even Lambs Have Teeth is currently streaming on Amazon Prime

The revenge we’ve all desired is handed over on a karo syrup soaked platter. This information is given in any description of the movie you’ll find. It’s not a spoiler. Because this is put right up front Even Lambs Have Teeth offers no surprises. Sure, the movie is predictable, but sometimes these fast-food type movies are just want we need to sate our appetites of revenge.

Calling this movie wish fulfillment is NOT a comment on the first act of the movie. The wish fulfillment aspect starts when our victims stop in their stolen car at the town border on their way out. They see the potential next batch of victims and decide that it’s not time for credits to role. They go back into the town and the audience can breathe easy knowing what’s in store. Where the movie can be described as a fun watch is in this same safety of knowing what’s to come. The first act deals with some brutal subject matter. The audience is spared from some more of the jarring visuals of the brutalities which makes it feel slightly like the edges were softened. This was likely done for mass appeal. Even Lambs Have Teeth seems to be made for the people who aren’t into the brutality and tension of this genre.

For a low budget movie without a big name actor to shoulder the responsibility the acting serves the script just fine. There aren’t any breakout performances. Conversely, no one is exceptionally bad either. The girls come around to their situation pretty damn quick and the scumbags all grovel the same way as justice is served.

Why is such a middle of the road movie the streaming recommendation for this week? Because writer/director Terry Miles saw the opportunity no one else was really taking and rose to the occasion. It’s a quick watch that delivers on its promise. Hard to complain about that.

Even Lambs Have Teeth: 3.5/5